I want to be the mom that's inside of me, instead of inside my head and worried about what other people think.
Hello everyone. Welcome back to another episode. I'm so glad you're here. We have a really fun guest with us, and I'm so excited to talk with her. This is Ashlynn, Mitchell. Some of you may know her better as Mama Bear fitness, which is how I got to know her. Ashlyn, thank you so much for being here.
You bet I'm glad to be here as Mama Bear fitness. Yeah, I was just, I was just telling you, I accidentally changed my name on Instagram, and someone took my mama bear fitness account. So it's, it's now called, this is Ashlyn, which still works.
It still works because you are Ashlynn, but you are still the real Mama Bear. Fitness, yes,
yeah, and I'm the original,
yes, oh, I love it. Well, thank you so much for coming. I am excited to talk to you as the listeners know this podcast is all about wellness, and so I like to kind of choose a little niche theme of how we can incorporate more wellness into our lives. And I thought what we would talk about today is exercise. I actually don't like using the word exercise, because I think it brings up. I think it's a loaded word for a lot of women, especially. So I like body movement, and thinking about, how does body movement contribute to our wellness? Tell me a little bit about your experience and your sort of evolution with body movement,
for sure, and I call it intentional movement, so I have this, like fitness and all that. It's funny. So yeah, so for me, I have always been active, but I would never consider myself an athlete or even categorize myself as active. I just if I wanted to go hiking, I would go hiking. I wanted to go to a dance party. I went to a dance party. I was never a girl that was like, I'm going to the gym every day. I'm doing these things. Really for me, fitness began when my life kind of fell apart, and the mama there inside of me came out. My heart was pulled. My children were hurt. Someone took advantage of them, and so although we were getting them into therapy, we had notified the police. We were in group support for parents. We're doing all the all of the things I also knew I had to intentionally start taking care of myself, yeah, because how on earth could I show up for my children if I couldn't even show up for myself? And so I started to realize I had lost a little bit of me in motherhood, and so I had to start prioritizing myself. So I did join a gym. I'm pretty sure it was like, the first week in January, and I'm like, I've already done this. I'm gonna fail again. But I was determined I was doing it because I knew my mental health needed it. So I had a very different why I wasn't doing it to lose weight, to have a six pack, to go on a vacation, to look good for my spouse, I was doing it for me, yeah, and so that was the first time I started to show up consistently. That was nine years ago. I did the gym five days a week for an hour a day for a year and a half, and then I started my company called Mama Bear fitness. And I thought other people need the same thing that I have found, and how can we make it so that it's accessible to more people? And so I do it all online now and just share, you know, all the bits and pieces I've learned along the nine years path.
Yeah, tell us. Will you tell me a little bit more about this idea of changing the why and how that has stuck with you? Do you think that has contributed to your consistency now,
oh, yeah, well, and I'm not gonna lie, it's my job, and when it's your job to take care of yourself, it's just, it's like, oh, that's part of my routine. I'm doing my job. I'm working out this is my job. So, yeah, I don't lie that that makes it part of it too. But one being consistent at something that's hard is incredibly empowering. So if you need some self confidence boost, or, like, I suck at everything, this is a great place to start, because every time I work out, I don't necessarily want to, and I'm nine years in. So I love the way it makes me feel all of these things, but my why is still there? It's for me. Yeah, I know that I feel good when I do it. I just had a friend over and said, What have you done for yourself today to get out of your head? First thing, I worked out, yeah. And so just, yeah, just recognizing that for a lot of us, we get up in our head and we start, you know, breaking down everything we're doing wrong, all these things. So to find little wins can be huge mental gains. And so for me, one just the consistent, consistently alone showed me like I can do hard things. I can do this. I can be the mom that I need to be. For these kids that are struggling, and then, oh, when life falls apart for me as a mother, guess what? I have this thing to fall back on. I work out at home now, so there's really not many excuses that I get to not work out. It's downstairs, you know, I can go do whatever I want,
but I love what you just said about it being, you know, physical our physical movement, our intentional movement, is something that we can have, that I don't want to say control, because that's always a loaded word, but we can, we can have, we can exercise that discipline in that one way. And it proves to ourselves emotionally and mentally and, you know, spiritually and cosmically, and all the ways, you know, it proves to us, Hey, I showed up for myself. I'm here for you. You know, I'm a safe place for you. We can show ourselves that we're a safe place and a loving place for ourselves in other ways. But I think some of those ways are vulnerable and scary and emotional and like, this is one way that's really matter of fact. Like, did you move your body? Yes, that starts to build that relationship of trust with ourselves. So that's I think that's so important. I
have a group call every Monday for my fitness and nutrition clients, and one of the things we talked about today is that honesty with self, yeah, of like the excuses that we adopt and the habits, but just being open and honest about it, so just tracking and using it as data. So we're not talking about tracking your workouts or tracking your food. We're saying we talked about today, track your triggers and track your negative narratives, and just see where they're showing up and how you respond to them. Because a lot of us, when we're beating ourselves up. We're a bad mom. Well, you know, I can't believe I just did that. I'm gonna go and I'm gonna eat the candy that's in the jar in the kitchen. Yeah, is that that? That's me absolutely reacting to a trigger. Yeah, negative narrative. So it doesn't mean I can't go eat the candy. It's, it means just being aware, yeah, being mindful of why we are doing the things that we are doing and choosing to it's not, yeah, it's not control, but I'm being more intentional with my life and why I live the life I do I
love that. Will you tell me a little bit about your experience with different types of movement and what kind of you know I found that there are certain types of movements that I choose for different reasons. Will you share that a little bit in your experience?
Yes, and I'd love to hear what yours are. It's funny because people say, because I have 1800 workouts to choose from, from this, that's amazing, yeah. And so it really it can be overwhelming for new clients, because they're like, how do I pick? I've never worked out. I don't even know what to do. Or it can be really exciting for someone like yourself who's done a lot of different things, and then they see, oh, I have options, and I can do it from home, right? So once a week I go over to my neighborhood gym. I do the peloton because I love I feel like I'm going to church with one of the instructors because she says all the crazy cliches. But you're like, yes, yeah, I'm doing it. I'm, you know, those, they're cliches and quotes for a reason, because they really are something, right? Absolutely. So when you're in a workout and you're like, you're pressing and pushing yourself, and then you hear really inspiring words, it's just, it's magic. I totally agree. So I love the peloton for my cardio, okay, because it's fun, and I feel it in my heart when I don't want to work out, I dance, and I have dance workouts that I love the instructor, I love the music. I kind of I look silly sometimes, probably all the time, but I love it. You don't have to be good to have fun. I love to lift because I feel strong and I don't lift heavy. I have a few spine from scoliosis, so I lift 10 to 15 pounds, Max. I never, in nine years of working out I don't lift heavy, and you can still see results by not lifting heavy or even having equipment, you know, by some bands, and that's good enough. I love to lift though it's really fun for me. I love Bar. Bar makes me feel very feminine. It is, I think, the hardest workout you can do, but it looks, it looks the easiest. And so people are like, uh, but you make a you know, I've had a lot of girls client too. They'll make their husbands do it because they're making fun of them. And their husbands are, like, sore for a week. It's so hard. And so I love those workouts too. So I just, I know what I like, and depending on my mood for that day, that's what I'll do. But oftentimes, for me, that why I do the online workout is because I need an easy button, and that is my easy button, and it's like, I can follow a calendar if I want, which, for a lot of people, that works. And for me, because I've done almost every workout in that Pro, that thing I like to just do what feels what my like, listen to my body. I'm in the routine. I know myself well enough. That's how I can do my workouts and my looking for results. Like, no, I just. Doing it because it feels good. And also you're a big hiker, I think, right? Like major nature movement too, yes, yes. And I roller skate, which is absolutely exercise. There's a lot of things. I go to a lot of dance parties,
yeah. Well, I I love this conversation, because I do think it's so important, especially for people who are feeling like they need a reset, either in their in their body movement, either they're plateaued, you know, they just don't feel that connected to it, or they they want to get started. And this is such a good example of all of the different ways that are out there. I think a lot of us feel like, okay, I want to get in shape. I better go get a gym membership. I better go five days a week and do the, do the weight lifting, and it's really intimidating for some people. And so there's so many options out there, and I really agree with you. I think there are different ones for different movements. I do a lot of yoga. I think because I'm lazy,
sometimes yoga is hard. I love yoga. It's totally
hard, and I totally feel like I've gotten a great workout when I'm done, but starting feels more accessible to me than like I'm going to put on my shoes and go for a run. Like, for me, it feels like that, like, oh, I can start with yoga. I'm just going to start pretty touching so, but I
love and you do what works? You're listening to your body. Yeah, exactly.
And I love yoga too, because I feel more in tune with my body through the day. You know, you focus so much on the little, tiny tweaks and adjustments and the breathing into this and you feel that muscle lengthen, and it just makes me feel more like in tune during the day, too.
So I love it, yeah. Well, for those people who are like, I don't even know where to start. If you have a pet or you have children, go for a walk. Every single day, I take my dog for a walk, usually right after my workouts, and so it's just a mile and a half loop, and it's good for him, but it's also really good for me to be outside. Yeah, I re for my one of my dailies is to get outside at least 10 minutes a day, so not driving in a car like be outside,
yeah, and there's actually really good data to support the benefits of being outside in our mental health, our emotional health, our physical health, like it is. It's a win if you're going to do something I totally agree, like, Go stand outside and go walk outside. Yeah, and
it's fun if you do it at the right time. You can meet your neighbors. You can chat and have some social part too. And that was actually one
of my questions. So can we go into that a little bit more? Is for women who feel either stuck, or women who have never really done it before, who want to start moving their body a little bit, or women who feel like chronic failures, you know, like I've tried so many times and every time I do it for a month, and then I fail. Can you talk about that a little bit, maybe, why that happens to women, and also what, what tips you would have for women who are really hoping to get into the consistent routine? I'm
gonna say it happens to everyone, like it's a human problem. We set ourselves up sometimes for failure based on our limiting beliefs in our head, the stories we're already telling ourselves. We kind of make it happen. Yeah, I'm gonna quit. I always quit, and then we quit, and it's this mount, no surprise, right? Yeah, so for me, I offer support groups for that reason, because a lot of the women who come to me, they're in a home or an environment where, like the gal today said, my family thinks I'm weird because I eat. I like to eat a lot of vegetables and fruit. She makes her feel good. She goes and she works out, but she said, I feel very alone. And so for her to come to a group call with strangers around, you know the world, she can still feel that like, okay, I can still do this, like, one more week of feeling alone here in my home, but I'm doing it for me, yeah, and so sometimes it's just the support and accountability of doing it a different way. So if you've tried something and it didn't work before, don't try the same thing. Try something different. And the hard thing with that is you're gonna possibly fall into the category of, I've tried everything. I've tried this and that, and I bought this, and I think it, oh, it's really a high percentage, like 70% of people who buy a fitness program, like a, you know, when they were selling DVDs, never even open it, because you see it you you get excited, right? Like when you sign up for the gym, pass when you sign up for even with me, that excitement is there in the moment that if you don't have access to that DVD or the gym for a week, it fades right? The motivation. So I like to think of it as, when we have motivation, that is us white knuckling it. We're holding on for dear life, like, I got to do it this time. I don't want to fail. I got to lose 10 pounds. I got to whatever you're, you know, whatever you're doing it for, if you're doing it that way, it will not last. Yeah, that's where you got to go deeper and figuring out why, why on earth. And it's okay, in my opinion, if you want your body to function different, maybe you're like, Yeah, I want to lose weight. Because when I hike, it hurts, like. I am so sore in my ankles. There's nothing wrong with that. And I think there's some, you know, it's so tricky nowadays with like body positivity, you can be body positive and still want to change the way your body functions. And so it's okay if your why includes losing some weight. I really think that's true. I think it's just, it just needs to be deeper. So if you want to lose weight, why? So you can go hiking and feel good, or what? If you're a mom who she's not in any of the family pictures because she's embarrassed, yes, and then your kids are going to be like, Where was mom for the last four years? She's not in any pictures. I have a lot of clients who come to me, and that's their Why, yes, yeah. Like, I'm not the mom I want to be. I want to be the mom that's inside of me, instead of inside my head and worried about what other people think.
And that's so powerful, because we think that, like, okay, my doctor told me to lose weight, or so and so told me that I would be healthier, or I have diabetes, so I need to lose weight, we think that those would be super powerful motivators, but actually they're not, and I think the one of the reasons they're not is because we don't actually care about the number on the scale, like I said this before, but if we lived out on a desert island somewhere, we wouldn't be like, Oh, I'm five pounds overweight, like, we wouldn't care at all about the number, and We wouldn't even care about our muffin top or our cellulite, right? We'd be like, I can do cartwheels down the beach those coconuts, right? Like, like, that's a silly example, but that's the idea. Like, those things are what motivate us. Those are the whys. But like, Can I do what I want to do? Can I be what I want to be? But the number doesn't actually mean anything. It can be a scientific predictor of different things, but like, we don't really care about that, right? What we really care about is being happy and having a good life.
It's funny, I I say this a lot, like, I'm the best, worst fitness coach, because you're you're going to come to my calls and I'm not going to be like, Oh, I had girls today that are like, I'm not showing up how I want to, but I'm like, I'm not seeing the results. But they're also very honest of why they're not seeing results. They're also giving themselves grace, yeah, because they realize how hard it is to make change. So I'm the best worst, because I'm not going to make you have incredible results. Likely on the outside, incredible results, yeah, but the clients who come to me are looking for incredible results inside the trans you know, they Yeah, it's like a bonus for me, is I work my butt off to love myself, and then my butt got bigger, and that that is the truth. Like my butt has gotten bigger, and I don't care, I love it now, and it's because I love myself more now than I did when I was trying to look a certain way. Yeah, and that's
huge, because I think sometimes the I am very warm and fuzzy, you know, like, especially doing mindfulness work and wellness work. Like, I am all about the warm and fuzzy, but I think some people, it makes a little bit uncomfortable. And some people the idea of self love or self compassion, it's hard for them to really grasp. I think sadly, there are some people who truly don't feel love for themselves, and so it can be hard to say, like, well, that motivator is not going to work for me, because I don't deserve it. Like, I'm not worth it. Have you encountered that with your clients? And if so it, do you have I realize that's a big, big thing, sort of a how you start helping people, or maybe even in yourself, you know how you start to find that love for yourself?
Yeah, I think for me, it is a very loaded question, because it's there's no one answer. For me, it was doing a lot. I mean, I've done a lot of therapy and just in inner child work in order for me to soothe and love that little girl inside of me that she pops out when she's hurt and wants to protect herself, and all of these ways and like I was showing up, not prioritizing me, and I was raised in a culture most of us are in society where the woman does so much like we are overextending, we are over functioning and not living your time for ourselves. And when we do, it looks like we're being selfish. And so to even for me, just starting with that narrative that self care and self love is not selfish, that me choosing to show up for myself, which is fitness, intentional movement or nutrition, I don't eat 100% clean, healthy, but I eat to fuel my body, in my fibers and and proteins and things like that, and Swedish Fish, like, I'm fine with all of the things. Yeah, fine, yeah, um, start there. Like I am worthy of doing these things, because in order for me to show up and to grow and to be the person. Want to be, I have to choose me first. Yeah, we're choosing everyone else. We're saying yes to everyone else and then no to ourselves. And
maybe there is a time when, when it's fake, it's you make it right, like, like, saying, like, Okay, I don't yet fully believe that I'm worth this. I don't fully have this love for myself, but I believe that for my function, like you were saying, to really show up as my best, I've got to start putting myself first. And then I think that the that that compassion does come as you show up for yourself, you know, you prove you build a relationship of trust of like, look, I did this for you. I'm here for you. Well,
I am. That's where part of the so reframing, yes and fake it till you make it for sure, not everyone. I mean, especially if you're a ground zero and you don't even know where to begin, it's going to feel really awkward, especially if you're like, trying to do affirmations in the mirror and you're like, Oh, I can't even look at myself. It's not lying to yourself. Fake it till you make it. Is not lying. It is just reframing so I don't have time to work out because I'm not worthy of that time. I need to show up at the mom. I need to blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. It's changing it to I'm I'm making time for me because I'm important and I will be a better mom when I choose me, like simple rephrase like that. I'm not lying to myself. Those things are true. I may not believe them yet, yeah, but they're true.
Yep, they're true. I think sometimes it doesn't always come down to like self love per se. I mean, I think some of us have a great relationship with ourselves and still have a difficult time finding the consistency or finding that routine. Do you have any other tips that you would use for women who just want to try to find that consistency, you said the why, for sure, I think you said somewhere in there, to do what you enjoy, you know, to experiment and kind of do what you enjoy. Do you have any other ideas?
Yeah, try new things. Go to a class with a friend. So getting a friend on board. So I have my groups. If you have someone in real life who's also maybe in the same place, or for me, I found someone two steps ahead. That's always been my big thing is find that person that you want to be, and then say, Can I join you? Yeah, and see what they're doing, and you can learn from them. I also, nine years later, still have in my phone calendar time to work out I still do it, and so the night before, I look at my net my day and realize this is where I need to adjust and fit my workout in, because I don't work out at this I'm very routine, but I'm not I have a lot of flexibility and freedom in my life, and that helps soothe the like OCD so we're functioning inside of Me is to be fluid rather than rigid. And so I do a lot of things every day. I just don't kind of like how what feels good to me instead. So I have a non negotiable time I have to move my body by this time, like 2pm and so I will get up, put my workout clothes on. I know what time I'm working out because I've already scheduled it from the night before I get it done. If I don't, it's done by two. And so for me, that's worked out really well, making it as easy as possible. So yes, picking something you love, but don't pick the class that's like, 45 minutes away that you have to drive through and get a babysitter and, like, pay $15 every time, make it doable. And I only work out 30 minutes a day, and I have for the last seven years, right? Because so many people are like, well, I better go for my hour and a half long workout, really? Yeah, and it's that's the hard thing is, yeah, I'm friends with a lot of, lot of my friends are like, Well, I'm at the gym, and they're all, they're gonna be there for two hours. And I'm like, oh, okay, I guess I'll go do whatever, whereas me, I'm like, Oh no, I'm I'm getting it in and I'm getting it done because I don't want to spend, I actually don't love to go and work out and spend my day working out, but I can find that's enough. There's so many studies that show 30 minutes is like, perfect, like 30 to 60 minutes, and anything over that is just like over extending, or just if you're going into, like a fitness competition or an ultra marathon, like I'm not doing any of those things. I'm not an elite athlete. I'm an athlete.
I love that I took notes, because there are three things that I loved about what you just said. Number one is that joining up with someone two steps ahead. And the thought I had is that can take some bravery. You know, we always we as women, I think are so insecure about looking stupid or looking silly or or looking like I am the the worst person here, you know, going mountain biking. I learned to mountain bike only recently, so later in life, and I still feel so ridiculous because I'm the one with the knee pads and the elbow pads, you know, but, and you do feel dumb, and I think it's okay, you know, it's okay to go to someone who's two steps ahead of you and say, like, do you mind if I tag along? I'm not going to be as fast as you or as strong as you. And it's so funny, because that's so hard. Hard for us, but if we're the one that's two steps ahead, most of the time, we're like, yes, I would love it. Please come. So
the benefit is, for my friend, she didn't have to do anything except meet me at the gym, and she wasn't teaching the class, she wasn't showing me what to do. She was sat. She just literally by my side, yeah, and so. But she could, I could ask her for tips and tricks, like she had that knowledge that I didn't have. So that's a great thing too. I'm also going to say, I listen to music that makes me happy, so I'm mute, you know, I'm at home working out to something online. I'm muted, and I turn up what I want to listen to. A lot of people like to listen to podcasts or watch TV. It's whatever works for you in that time, but making it fun, Oh, also, buying workout clothes that like make you feel good. I didn't do this in the beginning, and I was just wearing whatever, and my husband at the time, was like, you know, you have been so consistent at showing up for yourself, why aren't you showing up for yourself and feeling good when you go to the gym, like you said, you feel down in these like old T shirts or whatever. So you don't need to go and buy all this expensive stuff, like Old Navy has stuff that's great, athletics, whatever. That's one of my favorite. I have more workout clothes. I do not need more. You know, I'm an ambassador for kiaba, but I love it, because if I wake up, put those things on, and I feel good for all bodies, yeah, especially kiava clothing. If you look them up. They have all sizes, and their most popular sizes are X, XL. That's amazing. I know I love it. I love that. Like, no matter what size you are worth in that part of the worthiness, right? Am I worthy to go work out and spend that time? You're also worthy to go spend some money on the clothing can make you feel good
and to be happy with your body like, I think sometimes we think we shouldn't really be happy with our bodies unless they're quote, unquote perfect. Whatever that means, right? Never gonna be no and for me to, like, look in the mirror and say, like, I'm a little curvy right here, I'm a little saggy right here, I'm a little dimpled right there, and to still be able to look in the mirror and say, I think I look great. My body does amazing things. I'm really happy with my body. Like, I think, I think that's a big deal. Yeah,
if your why includes looking a certain way, you will never attain it, never, ever. Because I have a six pack. Do I walk around showing it? Nope, like it's, I got it for my back, like I wanted my back pain to be lessened, and so that's why I have a six pack. I don't have it, and it doesn't, all of a sudden make me feel awesome. Yeah, it's like, some people don't even like muscle and some people are totally turned off by that girl has the six so it's just, it's, you're never going to be all the things. And guess what? All my saggy skin and stretch marks and dimples never went away,
yep, yep. And so we should just just be okay with it. The other one, another thing that I wrote down that I love, that you've said a couple times, but it's very clear that you know yourself, you know you've gone through all of this to say, This is my why, and this is my routine that works for me. And this is the type of movement I love, and these are the types of things that work well for me, like, that's huge, and I want people to recognize that and to be able to do that for themselves, because there are so many Instagram accounts, and, you know, media in general that tell us, No, this should be your why, or which, I guess I kind of did say earlier that you should love yourself. But regardless, you know, no matter what anyone says, including me, you should figure out what works best for you, and that's really going to be able to give you that consistency. It's like you said, not white knuckling and forcing it into the path, but finding that path that is yours and saying, This is what my body, where my body and my mind and my heart are moving me. Another thing you said that I loved is the idea of calendaring, and I think that for women and looking at stepping their lives up, right, being able to say, I'm tired of being at the will of everything, including my kids preschool class, and including, you know, I'm supposed to do this project for their class at school tomorrow. And you know, women are so much at the mercy of everyone and everything, including, like, I'm supposed to have seven pumpkins on my porch of varied shapes and sizes, or else, I'm somehow failing as a woman, right? Like you did it wrong, right? Right? So these are things that we are constantly living up to, and yet we want women to take their lives back, to say, No, this is what matters to me. And part of that is what you said, is calendaring it in, you know, to say that this is so important to me, and my life is my life. So I'm going to put in my stuff first, and that includes exercise. And if I can do the other things, then I'll do the other things. And if I can't, then. And then they're gonna have to let it go. And that seems like what you've what, yeah,
and it's, I'm just guessing that some people who are living their life saying yes to everything and no boundaries are like, that sounds so selfish and so bratty. Exactly. Yep, I was that girl. I said yes to everything and I challenged myself for probably one full year, because I was in some really hard times of my own life, in marriage, where I said no to almost everything. I said no to church callings. I said no to helping at the school. I was always in my church. I you know, it was like the same eight people doing the same jobs, just switching roles. I was one of the eight. I was always in this leadership role. And then at school, I was always the room mom, because no one would sign up. And then having my kids birthday parties, I'm like, Oh, I'll go to Pinterest and I'll do all the Pinterest crap. And then realize I'm, like, not even enjoying the party. I'm stressed out. I'm yelling at my kids, and so for me, just saying no more to all of that, and taking a year to really focus on who the heck am I living my life for? I'm living it for my kids, for my parents who don't care, my church, my you know, my community, all these things who like. How do I live my life for me? Because when we can show up as like, this is my authentic self. My authentic self likes to move. My body likes to eat some healthy meals. Maybe I'm not going to eat all of the healthy meals, but I like some of it because I feel good, like I can notice now, which blows my mind. Oh, I ate this, you know, this food, and I can feel it, and my body doesn't like it, like I can feel it digesting. I couldn't have done that nine years ago. I just I always felt crummy, and I didn't know the difference between what felt good and what did
it. But you can only get to that point if you do put yourself first for I mean, we should always put ourselves first to some degree, but there, I think we have to go through that time, like you were talking about where we are really focused on, okay, what really do I like? What do I want? What do I feel? What do I feel when I eat this and as we come, as we become the experts on ourselves? Yeah, then you can start going back and saying, Well, what do I want? Did I enjoy that? Do I do I want to be the type of mom that volunteers in my kids classroom. Then, by all means, do that, but we have to make sure we're doing it in the right order, right? You know, making sure that we are showing up if that extra task is making us then snap at our husband when we get home, or snap at our kids, or not feel good, or, yeah, diabetes, because we don't have time to exercise, take care of our bodies, then we have to kind of rethink what order we're looking at those things. And I think for
sure, and anytime I'm living in resentment towards anyone, I know that there's, like, definitely a boundary being broken, whether I realize it or not. Yeah, because I should not be mad at my neighbor for asking me to help. And I said yes, and then why am I mad at that? Like I could have said no, yes. So gosh, that's important. Yeah, so now I say yes. So I had a year of nos, and then I had a year of yeses, where I did start kind of curating what I wanted in my life, what I wanted back, new things, even saying yes to being on your podcast. Yeah, those are things that I said no to all last year. I said no to all collaborations with here I am. Gosh, I
love that word curating. If we were curators of our own schedules and lives and decisions, and you know, there are some things that we can't choose, you know, and we can't always get out of everything, and that's okay, but, but we have more choice than I think sometimes we recognize
I agree, and the more we can start to like I curate my friends, the people that, the people that fit onto my calendar, it is all curated. Yeah, because I don't give my time away so freely anymore. My time is very precious to me, and so yes, curate is the word, because it's intentional. And then
you can show up how you want to. Instead of being so thin that you're doing everything at 30% you know, you could show up and give 100% to the couple things that you really found valuable. And I think anyone that that thinks that you can say yes to everything, at some point, you'll find that that it breaks you. And so being able to choose that now and from a healthy place, I think, is awesome. Well, Ashlyn, thank you so much. This has been such a fun conversation. I know that this is absolutely a work in progress for all of us, and finding that body movement that is going to support our best selves in the best way is, I think, so essential. So thank you so much. Will you tell everyone how they can find you and how they can follow along with you?
Yeah, you bet. So I have a podcast called this is Ashlyn, and I have a website. This is Ashlyn, and that all of my what I offer because I do coaching with fitness and nutrition. I also do it for those who. Who've gone through betrayal and have betrayal trauma. So it's kind of this, I help people with their insides, yes, all the ways, yeah, because that's how I feel is, is working through all of it, not just like picking and choosing. It's like, now it's a big combination of things. So Instagram, this is Ashlyn, and
there's a.in there. This.is
Ashlynn, right? Yeah. I don't even know where the.is just look up ash This is Ashlynn, and you'll
see me. And it's a S, H, L, Y, n, n, and I'll put in the show notes too. Yeah, yeah.
Thank you so much. It's been so fun.
Yeah, thank you for having me.
Thanks for listening. And come back next time for another episode, and remember this information is for education only and not intended to be medical advice. You.
