It's like we are waiting for this magical person to come and ring the bell and give us a stamp that says you are past. You are good with money, right? So part of this is we all just need to realize that what we think and how we think about things, affects the habits that we take, which affects the actions that we take, which now affects the results that we take. Hello and welcome to today's episode. I am really excited for our conversation. Today. I have a very special guest with us, Dr latifat, and she is here talking with us all about wellness and money or wellness and finance. And I'm so excited to dig into this topic, because I think it is a huge part of our wellness, whether we want it to be or not. So thank you for being here. Absolutely. Thank you so much for having me. I'm really excited to speak with you and your audience about all things money and wellness. Yes, will you start off by just telling us a little bit about yourself.
Absolutely. So again,
I'm so glad to be here. I'm Dr latifat. For those that haven't met me, I am the founder and creator of the moneyfeed MD platform, which is where we educate women physicians about how to have money without really being unwell. And apart from that, I'm also a practicing gastroenterologist. I'm a mama of three little kids, and you know, it's interesting when I go on podcasts, I mention my three kids because it's a reminder to me about why I do the things that I do, even in terms of being well. They were the reasons why I realized I was on a track to not being well when it comes to really empowering myself and going from not knowing anything about money. They were the reasons why I chose to do it. So every time I go on a platform and I'm asked to introduce myself, I'm like, I'm the mama of three kids, it's my way of grounding myself and just a reminder of that's why I do what I do. But to cut the long story short, I help women transitions, learn how to build wealth from the inside out. I love that. I love all of that. Thank you so much. We are going to learn so much from you. Well first, so I always like to recap when we're talking about wellness, when I think about wellness, I think about the routines and patterns and habits we build so that, and I would add mindset to that, the routines and mindset we use to have our best, most productive, happiest lives. So with that in mind, in your opinion, how does money fit in there? Well, number one, you just called Money fit in there. Money fit empty. So it has right. The thing is this, when I think about us, when I think about women and our health and our purpose and our impact, one of the reasons that stops us from achieving what we want to achieve is finances. One of the things that we think about and worry about during the day and at night is finances while we show up to work, sometimes work we don't even want to be at is because of money, right? Why we don't leave our dreams is because of money? Why? The number one reason why relationships don't thrive and survive is money, right? So it's like money is like this. It's this thing that we try to ignore, but it's there. And what I tell people is, when we deal with our money, when we choose to face our money, when we choose to work on our money, it does amazing things for our lives, because then we get to focus on everything else without worrying about money, and that everything else is really what life is about. So, you know, if we think about how many of us may have grown up, we may have grown up in families where conversations were had about money or not had about money, right? And we, a lot of our parents, wanted us to do well in future, and they're like, you know, get a good job so you can have money and don't ever have to worry about money, because we quit money and not worrying about money to happiness and fulfillment. I mean, it is a privilege to say that it's not the case, because that means that I have food on my table and I have shelter, right? However, what I've come to realize is that when we ignore money, when we pretend like it's a conversation that should not happen, because the world has told us that it's inappropriate to talk about money we really are doing ourselves and our true purpose a real like disadvantage. Yeah, I agree with that completely. I think it is so complicated because there are two sides of it when we talk about money. You know, there's the side of it that we may not want to talk about and not want to acknowledge, right? Like we want to just have happy lives and never worry about money and never think about money. And we shouldn't have to think about money when it comes to our wellness, right? We should be well and whole without ever thinking about money. But the reality is that that's not, that's not the reality. You know, our lives are dictated a lot by finances and and also, what I want to hear from you a lot about is it's also dictated even just by our approach to our relationship with money, because so many of us have these unhealthy sort of little you. Relationships with money that we may not understand or may not recognize, and until we heal that, then it can be really difficult to be truly well. And whole is that, would you agree? I agree 100% and I think you mentioned something that was really, really important earlier, about how we don't want to, you know, we sort of like, don't want to think about it. We don't want to worry about it. And what word came to my mind, or the phrase that came to my mind is when we talk about ignorance is bliss, yes, right? I want us to not worry about money. But not worrying about money can be from a place of trying to hide from worrying about money, where it's like, I'm not going to think about it. I'm not going to talk about it. And I know that at the bottom, like one in the quiet of the night. It's, I'm thinking about it, I'm worrying about it, but I'm not going to think about it. I'm not going to worry about it. So what I tell people is, if you truly want to have a life that is rich, a life that is full, a life that you can actually, you know, be happy or not happy, because we're not meant to be happy 100% of the time, it's really to deal with this thing underneath the carpet, right? Actually take care of it so that you can have what you actually want to want, what you actually do want, which is to live a life of purpose, to live a life that is joy fueled and all that good stuff. So now to answer the question you're asking about the relationship with money, the way that I define relationship with anything is our thoughts about it, right? So what I think about my relationship with myself is the way that I think about myself. Do I think that I'm a horrible person? Do I think that I'm unkind? Do I think that I'm selfish? Do I think I'm lazy? Do I think that I'm hardworking? Right? So my relationship with myself are the thoughts that I have about myself, my relationship with my spouse or significant other at the thoughts that I have about them, they really are not even necessarily based on facts, because if they were based on facts, then you know, we all know that one person that we think is like a horrible person, and someone like loves them like they're the best thing ever, and you're like, What are you like? What right? So that tells you that our relationship with things, it's not only the reflection of the facts about them, but it's really our thoughts about them, right? And I use those examples because it's easier to understand. But when we now take that same idea and we bring it into our relationship with money, our relationship with money is our thoughts about money and how we relate and how we think about ourselves in regards to our finances. So for example, you may think that, you know, okay, I don't want to think about money because money destroys relationships. I don't want to think about money because when I remember what my parents did with money, all they did was argue about it. We always talked about how we didn't have enough of it, we shouldn't spend it. So now I don't just want to look at it right? Those are a reflection of what you think about your money, that may be based on your past, even things like, I'm not good with money. Is that really a fact, or is that a thought that I have about myself and the ability to think about money, but because ultimately, what does it ever mean to be good with money, like, what gets to define who is good with money. It's like, without waiting for this magical person to come and ring a bell and give us a stamp and says you have passed, you are good with money, right? So part of this is we all just need to realize that what we think and how we think about things, affects the habits that would take, which affects the actions that would take, which now affects the results that would take. If I think that every time money gets into my fair I do a bad job at it, I'm not going to look at it because I don't want to feel bad, right? Then also, I'm not going to take steps confidently because I don't want to feel bad because I already told myself that I suck when it comes to money, right? So if I can think I'm bad with money, that means I can think that it's possible for me to be good with money, because when I think that I'm less likely to avoid it, when I think that I'm more likely to take steps and actually trust myself better than the other extreme, which is I am not good with money. Okay, so this is so important. So number one, this relationship that we're talking about with money is based on, like what you're saying. It's based on our thoughts towards money. So we have some choice there of whether we think about money and our relationship in a negative light, or think about it in a positive light. So you gave us a couple examples just now of some ways that we may have a harmful relationship with money. Some of the ways I want to dig into that first a little bit more so that we can identify in ourselves, some ways that we may be kind of shooting ourselves in the foot, in some ways that we're looking at money that are getting in our way. And then I want to move back to what, what does a really healthy relationship with money look like? So first, if we're looking at some of the ways that money, our relationship with money, or our thoughts about money, get in the way, one of the ways that's that's I know about myself, that gets in my way is this idea of. City, and you know, what is the right amount of money? Or will I ever have enough money? Or it's not even about money sometimes, but about things, right? I have to buy this now, because if I don't, I may not have enough money to buy it later. So you end up getting more and more things that you don't really need, because it was a good deal, right? So, so tell us first, a little bit about scarcity and what that means from a thought process with a relationship towards money, I love it. And the
thing is, scarcity can show up in so many ways, right? So let's talk about spending first, which is something that a lot of people talk about. So scarcity can make you underspend, up. Scarcity can make you overspend, and you just shared a great example with us, right? What you're like, Okay, if I don't know if I'm gonna have this, I don't know if this stuff is gonna exist when I want it, so let me buy it all now, right? That could be scarcity, but also thinking I may never have money in future, I'm gonna hoard it all. That's also scarcity mindset, sort of like different frames to it. So not having can be scarcity harden can be scarcity as well, right? And it all goes back to that underlying thought of, what is it about my way of thinking about this and seeing this that is actually now showing up in the results that I'm seeing. So what I love to tell people is this, it is really important for us to understand that money is not something that we're meant to hoard, and it's not something that we're meant to just like, pour out, like diarrhea. So I'm a GI doc, you're an opioid, so I know we can go there, right? That's right, I talk about constipation and I talk about diarrhea. We don't want any of that. We want to have a nice flow where it's coming in and it's going out. And I'm a huge fan of the fact that the more you hold on to money, the less you're going to have. And what do I mean by that, when you're holding on to money out of scarcity, because you think you're never going to have more than this, you think this is as good as it gets, you're undercutting yourself, and you also undercutting the people that you can be of value to in future, right? So what I always recommend is that if you're in that space, I want you to think of, okay, I want to pay my future self first, right? Because when you think of your future self, that means you put in money in your hands at the age of 5060, or 45 whatever it is, so that at that point, your future version will have money and resources to recycle and put into the world. Because money is really a flow, right? It goes out and it comes it's about rinse and repeat it, put it out, it comes back. So you have to give. You have to receive and given. The key is to try and give into spaces that are high wealth forming, right? Investing in stock market, investing in businesses, investing in investments, investing in yourself, in your wellness, mental health, that is all part of you. Those are all high quality world items, because if you're not doing well, you know, you ain't going to build nothing, really. That's just a bottom line, right? So that's how I want people to think about releasing things. Is Believing that I will have, I can have, and the way that I do that is by releasing this. I release and I receive. And the way that I release is I release by giving, because donating and all that is all part of giving. It gives you joy in ways that that's what we're looking for. We're looking for feeling right. And that gives you that. But then now, when you invest in things that are going to give you money back, like cash flow and real estate property, if I'm taking all of my money and buying things that have low quality world items, like, you know, buying I don't know, there's nothing wrong with shopping for clothes, but if that's the majority of the stuff you're buying, if all I'm doing is buying cars that are not going to have the value increase or put money to my pocket. Those are low quality wealth items. And doesn't mean you shouldn't buy them. It just means that first, high quality you things that bring you money back, your wellness, your relationship, your finances, those are the things that I want us to start thinking of, and that, by itself, will help us release that space of scarcity, because we believe that we will have we believe that we are good stewards that can put money into things that's going to pay us back now and in future, and then you don't have to think that your scarcity mindset is a problem that you need to spend time fixing, because when You're spending time fixing, guess what, you're not doing, you're not investing, you're not breathing, you're not enjoying your relationships well. And I loved what was, there's a kernel in there that, that I really loved, which is talking about that high quality and investing in things that are going to give back to you, not necessarily financially, financially as part of it with investing in real estate or or the stock market or things like that, that that will hopefully come back to you directly financially, but also investing things, investing in things that come back to you so give you purpose and meaning in life and help you to live an enjoyable life. And that's, I mean, that's wellness, right there, right that's what we're all hoping to achieve in life. Of the other thing that I really liked that you said is kind of shifting over to that, that abundant mindset, I think for some of us who are raised with less of a healthy relationship with money, it can be really difficult to say, Well, what I don't even know what that looks like like. What does a healthy relationship with money look like? And one of the key points that you just said is believing in yourself as a steward of wealth enough to say, I am going to continue to have money like there's not going to be a point when that that flow of money is cut off completely. I think there are absolutely some people myself included, I would say, in some ways, who, who really, who really just sit there waiting for that spout to turn off. And it doesn't matter if it's coming out in a drip or a flow, you're just sure that at some point it's going to cut off and you're not going to have any more money coming in ever. And that's kind of when you say it out loud, it's like, well, of course that's not going to happen. I mean, there's always ways to generate income, but when we live in this state of, like, waiting for that flow of Finance to turn off, then it is a scary place. So we buy up all the things, and we're not even even able to get our brains into the mindset of, like, what's going to improve my health and what's going to improve the quality of my life, because we're so busy spinning right, like we're just fixing, like you said, we're just trying to clean up after things or fix things, instead of ever getting to be to that proactive and productive side of things. So that's huge. I want to go a step further with that. So tell us more about what really does that healthy relationship with money look like you mentioned, part of it is believing that you are a good enough steward that it will always be able to come back to us. Is there more to it than that? So before I answer that, I loved everything you said, and there's one thing that I wanted to highlight there is you're mentioned that we have, sometimes we have this thought that the tap is going to turn off right. And as humans that are listening to your podcast. They're here because they want to be well, right? And what I want us to do is increase our sensitivity to knowing those moments when those thoughts come and then pass in during those moments and going, Okay, what am I actually thinking right now? And actually verbalize it, because you've mentioned something that I think was really powerful. When we verbalize it 50% of the time. We realize that okay, that that's questionable, right? And so when you start to feel that, and you can feel it in your body, we all hold it in different spaces, but some people feel in their shoulders, in their belly, just start to feel that okay, that feels, that's, feels I'm about to do something right now, that I'm like, okay, maybe scarcity. I want you to just pass and go, Okay, what am I thinking? Alright, I'm thinking, if I don't buy this, it is going to run out. Is that actually true? Well, and that by itself. So it's like going from this is deep work, to just get into that place of this is awareness. Walk like work. This is just about awareness, speaking it out, stopping myself and choosing if I still want to buy it, Heck to the year, go ahead and buy it, but 50% of the time you realize that, okay, I am trying to default back to a pathway that may be based on my history, and there's nothing wrong with that. Right our lives is the result of the stuff that we've dragged throughout our lives, and some of it is never, ever gonna go away completely. But when we just increase our sensitivity and our awareness, we put ourselves in the driver's seat, and then we get to choose. And if you are letting scarcity decide your life 100% of the time, and now it's 50% of the time, that's a win. And then we keep doing better, and we keep doing better, and we keep doing better, and it's a beautiful thing. So for those that are listening, there is no one moment or this one place you're going to get to where it is all miraculously, magically fixed. No, this is our lives. This is our baggage, for good and for want, right? And then if we just increase that sensitivity, we really put power in our own lives to know that there is no perfectionism needed. There is no perfect moment where it's like, oh, now I'm perfect. I don't ever have to know but then you now stop judging yourself, because you know you have the tools, you have the awareness, and that really gives you power, which is what it's all about, it's feeling empowered and knowing that you have the control, you have the ability to choose whatever you want to do. So I that was a point that you made, and I felt like I wanted to make sure that your people squished the juice out of that. Thank you. That was perfect. So all right, so now back to your question. So I love analogies. And the reason why I love analogies, especially when it comes to money, is the way that everything in this world we've learned is the result of the brilliance of people, but also the results of their brilliance, plus their humanism and their own baggage. Right? So we exist here, and we have. Baggage that we've gotten from all around and I think part of that baggage with money is money gets put on this pedestal where it's like, oh, it's money. You can't mess it up. It's
money. It's got to be stirred up.
It's money. It's got to be perfect. We don't do that when it's money. You cannot feel when it's money. You cannot make mistakes. You don't or you cannot. You don't want to do that right. And part of the reason why so I would like to bring the stuff that we feel more comfortable talking about, because it all runs parallel with money. So let's talk about relationship, right? If you are looking for what a real good relationship with money is, I want you to ask yourself what a good spouse or relationship would look like, right? You want someone that you don't want to be dating and you know, or married or in a relationship with, someone that is disempowered, someone that relies on you for joy, if you're like, if you don't tell them the most amazing thing they're gonna feel like life is dying right now, someone that like you don't want someone that is also controlling, someone that tells you what to do all the time, that Like busses you around. You want someone that is kind you want someone that's even grounded. You want someone that has a life of their own. You want someone that's powerful. And you also want to be powerful so that it's a symbiotic relationship. So that's how I think about relationship with money. Is money is not this thing you want to be you want to see as this weak thing that has no power over me, or this thing that has all the power over me, right? You want money to be a tool that, in the right hands, can be an amazing resource, and you, wherever you are, have been chosen and happens to be the person that gets to be the steel what of this money? And if you listen to this podcast, there's a very good chance you're not cray. Cray. Maybe you are, but we are to an extent, but it means that you probably are a decent human being. And if you're a decent human being, it means that you have the chance to be someone that does something to make the world a better place. So that's how I want you to think about money. It's a tool that you can use. It's like, hi, money. What? How are we going to give value to the world today, when I go to a restaurant that's been given value to the world, when I pay for Uber, that's me giving value to the world, because now I'm paying this uber person that's going to be able to take care of their families and do all the stuff, right? That's the part of the output. But then there's also the part of the input, where, because I believe I'm a good steward of money, I also want to say yes, because one money is in my hands. It's a beautiful thing. And what does that look like in a practical way? That means that I don't cheat people, but I also don't cheat myself. I make sure that the people that I'm working for are paying me money for the incredible value that I'm giving them. So if I work in an employed position, am I being paid? Well? Because if I'm being paid, well, that's a great thing for the world, because, again, I'm a great steward of money, right? So if they're not paying me, well, I want to make sure they're paying me well. Well, I want to take my amazingness and take it somewhere where I can get paid. Well, if I own my own business, am I actually charging what I should be charging? Because again, money in my hands is a great thing. It's a gift to the world when women have money. So I want to make sure that I'm not just talking about the output, but I'm also talking about the impute, where I'm making sure that I am not cheating the people that I could be a gift to by saying no to the money that's trying to come to me. Right? Do I need to learn a new skill set in order to get the input of that money? So those are the ways that I think about money, in a way that is not hustling, in a way that's not burnt out, e right, in a way that is well grounded, and I get to use it for good. And part of good is investing in myself. Is investing is in hiring a babysitter so I don't go crazy with my three kids, right? So those are the ways that I think about money, and it becomes a gift to everybody. Our we have this amazing lady that helps us with our home. She cleans our home, and unfortunately her spouse left her bigger drama. So now she's a single mom to initially was to income, and now she's a single income person, right? And the question was, how can we help her? Right? Where are they paying her? Well, she's actually pretty expensive, relatively speaking, but she does great work, right? Because she gives us value for the money we're paying her. So I'm not I'm okay paying her, even though it's higher than most other people charge for it. And then the question is, do I want her to come clean twice what she was doing before. And I went into our own finances and asked, Is this money that we want to spend in that way? And our answer was, No, we don't want to have someone clean our house two times what they were doing before. So even though the key is to be generous and help, we still have to make sure it's in line with what we want to do. So we're like, No, we're going to keep our as is, but we're in a space where we can give gifts. So we can choose to give gifts, right? Imagine if I'm not getting paid at the work that I'm doing. How can I be helpful? Imagine if I'm not investing in real estate that is cash flowing, how can I be a gift to the world? Right? Imagine if I'm not making sure that I'm getting well paid at the spaces where money could be coming into. I like. So this is really important. The relationship is about a state of being, but it's also about thinking about that impute and also thinking about that output. Does that answer your question? Oh, I love all of that. I think I love the part about comparing it to a relationship, because that does make it so tangible. And I also love the idea, you know, everything you just described relates to what we think about money, which is, you know, income. You know, how do I feel about bringing money in? And the way that you described it makes it sound so noble, you know, I'm
like it is, no, I
deserve to be paid. What I what I need to be, so that I can then be a good steward of that money and can be a good contributor to the world and to society. But the other thing that it makes me think about is there's this idea with money of needing to buy something for different reasons, you know, either because it's what everyone else is buying and we want to keep up with them, or buying something because our kids think they need it, but we know that, like, we don't really want to bring more cheap, you know, no good toys into our family, but our kids are begging for it, and you're like, Well, I want my kids to be happy, and I didn't have this growing up and and that's a really unsteady relationship with money, right? A steady firm. What you talked about with having a good relationship that would allow me to say no, that this isn't how we need to spend our money. If my child needs more attention or they want to do something fun, like I can do that, but I don't need to do that by buying them this toy that they're asking for. So I can just see that relating in so many different ways. And when you talk, it sounds like such an uplifting, healthy, happy relationship with money, which I think is not typically the conversations we have around money. So I really like that. Yeah, absolutely. It's not where I started from either. I had to learn this for myself, right? I had to learn this from myself. I had it's what I teach my women. Because a lot of times when we talk about money and wellness, we think about the actual number only, but we don't think about this part that we just talked about, which is the most important part. If this part is fine, the numbers is the easy like every human listening to your podcast right now can do money, because the level of math that you need for money is like algebra level. But this is the stuff we're talking about. Here is what we don't talk about. It's the why are we buying? We're buying because we want to feel somehow. Are we can we feel that right now without actually buying? Like that is power, right? When we can learn that it's okay for me to not feel great 100% of the time, and it's okay for me to feel great without needing something external to help me feel that level of satisfaction and joy and fulfillment. And honestly, I tell people, the best thing you can do for your money is again, going back to that relationship. Is your relationship with yourself. We need to like, if we talk about that, if we fix that, money becomes so easy, like you automatically start to have money. Or, to be honest with you, when you're like, I like myself, right? I don't have to be like them to be great. I'm already great. So I have to reiterate that, because I think that is so so so important is the idea that we spend money to feel a certain way, and that if we instead work on inherently feeling a different way, then we don't have to go spend money to do that. Now that doesn't mean that we can't spend money because something feels good, like going and getting a pedicure or a massage or something like that, but, but if our everyday sort of situation is buying something so that we feel a certain way, you know, buying something so that we feel like we're proving to the world that we are somehow adequate by some standard, like number one, that's not a healthy relationship with money. But number two, it's also not doing for us what we're trying to accomplish, right? Like we're hoping that this will bring us joy and satisfaction, but joy and satisfaction comes so much more from within and from our relationship within and money is sort of this peripheral thing. So i i I need to internalize that and just give that some thought. But I hope everyone else does too, because I feel like that is a like, life altering principle that you just mentioned, absolutely, absolutely, because we already, and that's a secret that people don't want us to know, is we're already adequate. Gosh, especially the marketers, right? They don't want you to know that, that you're adequate without whatever they're trying to sell you. They want you to believe that you your life will never be the same, yeah, you're already adequate. You already have maximum value the moment you were born, like nothing you can add. There's no jacket, no hair color that I can add. I mean, of course, I
mean, my hair color is different from what I used to have before.
You get to do all I get to do, to enjoy differently when you realize that it doesn't actually add to who you are, because you are already 100% adequate, 100% valuable the moment you were born. Everything just becomes now like augment and when you see that it's impossible for you to not have money, because money now really takes the shape of what it should be, which is a tool to be used. As opposed to a tool to feel or create or be, because you were already created. You're already where you're already good to go. If that makes sense, it totally makes sense. And what an important tool too, in our relationships. You know, there's there's some statistic, I'm sure, about the number of marital problems that happen over money, and to be able to have that peace with yourself and finances in your relationship with your spouse, but also to be able to teach your children this relationship with finance, to say, you know whether you do or you don't have tons of money, you still have to teach your children a relationship with money. And I think that it can be, I think that a lot of people make assumptions, one way or the other, that if you have tons of money, of course, your children will have healthy relationships with money, or if you don't have tons of money, that of course, your children will not have a healthy relationship. And it's there's just no guarantee one way or the other. Like we still have a stewardship to teach our children how to have that relationship with money, but even more importantly, to have that relationship with themselves, so that money is seen more at a tool more as a tool, instead of something that defines who they are. Like, I'm wealthy or I'm poor, or I always had enough money growing up, or I never had enough money growing up. You know, it's it when you talk, it just seems so much less significant. It seems so much more central is know yourself, love yourself, teach your children to know themselves and love themselves, and then the money will come on top of that. Imagine if all of our kids, if we taught all of our kids to know and believe that they're good stewards of money. And you know, we get to define what we want, like, what is good steward of money? A good steward of money isn't someone that buys investment properties. Only. A good steward of money isn't someone that doesn't buy any investment property, only a good steward of money, someone that does all that, right? It's diversifying, not just the high quality only, but also a combination of the high wealth products and low wealth things too. It's that balance. And when we tell our kids that it's okay for them to get paid, you know, less to work one day less, that is wealth, right? When we tell our kids they can learn how to build passive income without hustling one to one ratio with money of time, that is wealth. When we teach our kids that give in is great and it's a good thing, that is wealth, right? That's telling our kids that it's okay for them to get a massage and rest and do nothing that has been a good steward. So we have to redefine what we've been taught is good versus bad what we've been so there's those small fractions of things that I honestly believe are the main things that we want to I should. I'm going to write a book, probably about this, which is, I'm, I mean, I'm working on a book right now that it's not for kids, but I need to write a book about how to like pass in money Jean Suki to something. I think that would be a good title. I think so too. Better go her to hear first. So let's dig in for a second to a little bit of the harder side of things, because this all sounds so wonderful, and I think means so much to me. But I know that there are some people who are going to say, Well, that's easy for you guys to say, You guys are doctors, and there's a lot of financial assumptions that come along with that. So let's shift gears to say, Okay, you're you're talking to a woman who says, yes, all of what you say sounds so warm and fuzzy, but right now I'm in the throes of it. I don't have enough money to do the things that my kids want to do. You know, yearbooks are coming up and sports, you know, fees are coming up, and the roof just sprung a leak, and my car is in the shop. Like, what do I do right now? I don't feel like I can ever get ahead of this to get to where you're talking about, because all I can do is survive. Do you have any advice for them?
I do, and it's interesting, when I heard you said that, I got a little emotional, because I think it's very easy to see people and hear people and think of why we're different, but we don't think about why we're the same. And I'll tell it's also really easy to everybody thinks doctors have many. In fact, I posted online. I said, if doctors had the amount of money that people think we do, medicine would change, right? The reason why I do what I do is because this is a problem that I had. I knew nothing about money. I was living paycheck to paycheck, as many physicians do. Many physicians live paycheck to paycheck, and at the end of the day, what you earn matters, but money, what you end up with, what you have left, is actually what affects your wealth more than anything else, and a lot of physicians live paycheck to paycheck, and you may be go, I'm not a physician. You may actually have more money than a lot of physicians do. And goes back to what we're talking about, about the show we and what the world has defined to us as well. When we see someone having a fancy job, we think that means they're wealthy. They wear fancy clothes within that means they're wealthy. They have a fancy car. We think that means they're wealthy. And one of the book, classic books that people talk about is The Millionaire Next Door. And go read it, the people that have money, I will tell you, I'm I'm grateful to say that I have money. And even being able to stay here and say I have money, that is really me redefining what the world has said is okay to do. I can. Her that I have one, and I'm grateful for that, because I'm a steward of it. But that's not how I was before I was hecka broke. I didn't know anything about anything. Again, my three kids, well, then I had two kids, where the reason why I chose to get my money crap together, because I literally looked at them and I said, if I don't stop I'm going to be a burned out, disempowered mom, and that is not what I wanted, and that is when I had to start what I did, which was number one, ask myself, What am I earning right now? And where is that money even going? People don't have an idea of how much money we waste every month because of the decisions we've made in the past. And the reason why I said decisions we've made in the past was I'm not about judgment when it comes to money, that's not my stuff. Judgment is very counterproductive. It makes you waste money, time, energy, and makes your net worth go down, and makes you not enjoy the gifts of life. So I don't care about I don't judge. That would not You're not going to find that in myself, right? So at some point, I'm going to assume that you decided that you the way you were going to spend that money was a great idea, but that was at that point. It doesn't have to be now. So when you look at where your money is going, you're pretty much just curiously looking and saying, What decisions did I made in the past that I don't want to make again, right? And then you get to figure that out, and that may mean maybe you decided at some point that you wanted to buy a house, and now you see that buying your own primary home is actually more of a liability than an asset. It's taking money out of your pocket and burning you out every month. And maybe now the decision is, I want to sell that house and rent instead. I'm not one of those people that will tell you that renting is is wasting money. It is not resting. Is one of the most predictable ways you can have a hang on how much you're spending every month. And if you feel like your house is like getting plumbing problem today, roof licking tomorrow, HVAC tomorrow, sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself is just like, get rid of that house and rent. And know that every month I spend $2,500 I spent $1,200 on house it, and that is it, right? So again, looking at your spending right now is not about judging your past. It's about making a different decision when needed. Maybe two years ago, you decided that $500 a month was a great amount to spend on your kids extra extracurricular activity, and right now, based on how finances are, you're like, I don't think that's a great idea anymore. Maybe it's time to cut that out. So by just even looking at where your money is going right now, I've had people, I mean, I've given talks on this, and I've had people say I found 1000s of dollars that I've been wasting every month that I didn't even know. And now if we take those 1000s of dollars and now take it and you actually use that to build a savings account, now you have emergency funds. If you take that money and instead of spending it on low quality stuff that you've decided in the past, and now take it and start investing in the stock market, even something as simple as like index funds, which, if you don't know what that is, that's okay. I did not know what that was six years ago. I had to learn it, and that's completely fine. If that's all you're doing, you're changing things. So number one is, let's get the judgment out of our finances. Number two is ask yourself where your money is going right now that is no longer adding value to your life in a way that is meaningful based on where you are today. That's number two. Number three is, diversify. Diversify. Diversify your income sources. What do I mean by that? Where are you earning money from right now? Of the people of the places you're earning money from, are they paying you? What they should be paying you, or have you not negotiated your contract in like, three years, right? Are you someone like a lot of women, are we are amazing givers, and we think, and we've been taught that when we do good, we should not get paid of it. But in what places are you doing good that you need to get paid better? On like, are you billing appropriately for the work that you're doing? So there's so much I can obviously go on and on, if you let me keep going about this, but it's so important for us to just stop. Don't try to feel good right now stop and just let's look and understand that we can do this. There is no one more capable at money than women, and if you at least have an elementary school education, maybe Middle School for elementary school, math, algebra, you can do money. The rest of it is the stuff we're talking about today, which is the relationship removing the judgment and understanding that you have value. You are more than capable. There's you don't have to prove. There's nothing you can do to prove or disprove this, right? And I don't think we get that message enough. So I'm just going to take like, 30 seconds and just remind you that you're amazing. You're a value. You're not a value because of the work you do. You're not a valid because you're a mom or not a mom. You're not a value because you're child of someone or not a child. You're not a valid because you're a teacher or whatever you do. You're a value because you're a human that exists, that has breath in your lungs. And I think when we just realize that, and just let. That like wash over us. We can do money. Money is easy. Money is simple. We've done harder things. And yes, I may not know you individually, I may not know your story, but you listen to those podcasts so you know how to log on to podcasts. That means you can do money. That's my spiral. I love that so much. Gosh, I have so much to say, and we're short on time, but the last thing I wanted to say or ask you is, along those same lines, do you have an approach to budgeting that you feel like is helpful either mindset or logistics? So it's interesting, people always say either mindset or actions. They're one and the same, right? The reason why what we're doing doesn't work, especially while we've been taking actions, is because the foundation is wrong, right? But when we build the foundation the house, you're like, oh my goodness, that building went up so fast because we fixed the foundation, right? So it's like, without the mindset, without the psychology, like that is how you build wealth, the psychology and the mindset. And no one talks to us about it, but what I think is about budgeting, we think there's a right way, and we're all looking for the right way. Number one, there's no right way. Let's just squash that ish, there's no right way. The right way is one that helps you have money left. The right way is what puts money in your pocket. And when I started, I didn't like traditional body tonight, I'm like, I don't like math, and I still don't like math, I don't like spreadsheets, and I still don't like spreadsheets, and I have money, right? What that tells you? And the reason why I say that is you can figure out your path. And when I say I have money, you probably have money, because that is a thought that I choose to think. I have money, you have money, will have money. And you're like, Latifa, you don't understand. I can barely make it. I know we have some money, we can have more money. So you have money. I'm just my fact and don't message me and disagree with me. I don't care, right? But when it comes to budgeting, I don't I actually throw with the B word. I call it spending plan, and it kind of is what we've talked about so far. So it's as simple as saying, Where is my money going? Do I like where it's going? Am I glad I'm spending this amount where it's going, or do I wish I would spend a different amount? That, if you can answer that question, you are creating your own spending plan. So meaning, what is coming in? Do I even know that I'm spending this do I know that I'm spending this amount that I'm spending on this stuff, how can I do better? Right? Because, if I'm spending $500 on daycare, for example, is that a good value? Am I getting value for what I'm spending? If the answer is yes, then you know, 500 it is right. If I'm spending $2,000 on childcare, I'm like, No, they're not that amazing. I love my kid, but I don't love you too kid much, right? And then we start to ask, Are there places where we can find the same services without decreasing the value that we're getting from them, without decreasing the quality that may cost us less? And if you do that with the different things that you're spending on, you can see how you can start to accumulate more money that you didn't have before. Where am I spending interest that's not serving me? A lot of us, you know, credit card we're spending interest every month. And I tell people that the goal of every credit card company is for you to forget you're paying them every month. Like you know, you forget that you're paying $200 every month on interest. How can you negotiate your interest rate to be decreased down? And how can you pay off that credit card and try and pay off the credit card every single month? It doesn't have to be perfect now, but start from where you are and improve every month. What can I do better this month? What can I do better this month? Before you know it, you would have created your own spending plan and will never have to worry about a budget
again, that's so great.
You've mentioned so many nuggets throughout this conversation, and I am just, I'm just taking it all in and learning so much from you. I really appreciate it. I think, you know it, number one, it feels so empowering to hear you talk. You know, to feel like money can be have so many automatic reactions, like, if you ask someone, what do you think of when you think of money? I think for so many people, it's overwhelm or not enough, or I don't know how, or I don't know, I don't know what to do. And you know, just to say, number one, to hear a little bit of your transformation or your journey, of you learning so much about it, and it's so empowering to say, okay, I can start. Then I can start with just the smallest understanding and start learning about one thing and then the other. And I also loved how you talked about in your spending plan, and also before that, with saying, you know, you get to choose where your money goes. And I think it's so easy for us to revert back to but, but you don't understand, like, I really have no extra money. It's like, well, have you looked at it? Well, yes. I mean, I know essentially what I spend, but have you looked at it? I mean, I don't need to know about it. I've already, like, I don't I know what I'm spending, but to really sit down and say, if we really make everything negotiable, if we really make every cent that we're spending up for questioning, I think that we. Can get creative with it and be able to find how to move it around so that it brings us the most joy. Because, you know, I could make more money if I was willing to work 8090, 100 hours a week and never be at home with my family, right? Is that wealth not the kind of wealth that I'm looking for, and so really, it is such a custom and unique approach that each of us has to take with our spouse or our partner or alone if we're alone and and really just stop where you're at, like you said, and really look at it all and then make the decision at this moment to say where I'm moving ahead, and I'm glad that you said that about renting, because I think that is something that is definitely the traditional training, is renting is a waste of money, and buying your house is the way to go. And and that's that is not always the case. And so even putting that up to question where people say, Well, I have to pay my mortgage. Like, what do you want me to do? I have to pay for this new roof. What do you want me to do? And to really even put that up for question and say, Well, let's take a step back and just look at everything. Everything is up for grabs here, and then to adjust the mindset to say, I know I am capable of doing what I need to do. I know I'm capable of being a good steward of money, of money, and approaching decisions in that way. I just think there's so much, so much gold there. I'm so grateful to hear all of this from you. Thank you so much. No thank you. It's It's funny, I love having this conversations, because, again, I don't think we're having enough, and I don't think we're having them the right way. That is helpful, especially for women, and I think it's it's time for a different conversation. The funny thing is, you're also just talking to you, especially this amazing summary you just gave, makes me think I need to record a podcast on debunking the American dream, because I think we've, we're, we're, we've taken someone's thought on what a dream should be, and we've embraced it, and now it's hurting a lot of us, and it's time to stop and answer,
yeah, yeah, that idea of overworking, you
mean, till you're 65 buy that house and stay at the same boring job and all that stuff. Yeah, all that, all that.
Oh, well, thank
you so much. Will you tell us a little bit more about where people can follow you and learn from you? Absolutely, I have a podcast where I share a lot of information. It's called the money feet, MD
podcast,
if you're a physician, if you're a woman physician, I have a money school that I run for women physicians, which is really teaching us to have money in a way that is well, in a way that is good, and in a way that is successful. And yes, you can check it out by going to money fit, md.com,
and your Instagram too, right?
What is your Instagram? On
Instagram and Facebook, money fit.com, M, O, N, E, y, s, i, t, M, D, not.com without the.com Well, thank you so much for coming. We have, I have learned so much from you, and I do so strongly believe that this is a really important part of our wellness that is not necessarily something that we associate with wellness. You know, I think if you say we're talking about women's wellness, probably money is not something that people bring up a lot, but man, it, it is in the details of our lives, and there's no getting away from it. And I love that you talked about that, that personal relationship with ourself, and how that affects our relationship to money, because that is wellness. I mean that that is just 100% what we need to be talking about. So I really appreciate it. Thank you so much for being here. Thanks for having me, and thanks for listening everybody. Thanks for listening, and come back next time for another episode, and remember this information is for education only and not intended to be medical advice. You.
